CONSIDERING GRIEF … SPIRITUAL RECOVERY CONTINUES (Post 164)
MARCH 23, 2024
Post 164
It’s been well over three decades, about this time of year, since my mother suddenly, unexpectedly died. A voracious spell of the flu attacked and caused her heart to explode. Yet every now and then, I still feel a pang of grief – a memory of that initial shock and the subsequent missing of those oh-so-familiar phone calls.
Many people expressed their sorrow and sympathy and I appreciated every word. Two share-ings I will never forget. At church, a lady of few words, came to me and with a knowing look, squeezed my hand: that was all that was needed. Then too, my father, a man of little conversation, shared wisdom, so personally, that I knew his words had to have come from previous experience. He said, Grief comes in waves, like the waves in the ocean. It comes and goes and then comes and goes again. A simple sentence, but one filled with both understanding and hope: I understand and you won’t always be stuck in it.
With all of this in mind, it struck me that grief, as a topic within the realm of spiritual recovery is a not-to-be-missed or underrated essential consideration. So I perused the net for GRIEF – and found an immense amount of information. Phases of grief, stages, chronic, kinds, definitions, timelines, outward signs, internal manifestations, what to say, and what not to say … where should I start? More specifically, I wanted to explore how grief plays into and/or connects with addiction. At a years-past conference, I recall the admonition that unresolved grief may contribute to bizarre responses within individuals. Atypical behavior and/or addiction(s) could develop. Often the origins of such may not be easily traced to grief, as well.
I started my search and readily found a good number of articles on grief and addiction. One’s addiction can prompt grief within the actual person so affected and within devastated loved ones. Grief can bring on hopelessness for both. I read many articles and watched videos filled with great materials. An interesting listing written by Nikki Moberly, PCC, CBC, is entitled 12 Types of Grief You May Not Know About (January 28, 2022).
One amazing program I found is a ZOOM Meeting on youtube entitled “Trauma and Addiction Connected to Grief”. Host Jan Winhall interviews Julia Samuel on various aspects of this topic; and it is a fascinating conversation, along with several questions and answers with attendees. References to the body’s natural state of grief are helpful in understanding the physical realities of the grief condition and how to cope. The program carries this basic premise throughout along with detailed components of experiencing grief. A resource they highlight is the book Your Body Knows the Answer by David I. Rome.
For you who are experiencing grief (whether it be fresh or pangs from long past sorrow), I close with the words of Cleland B. McAfee – and notice my added wording within brackets.
God make your year a happy [blessed] one – not by shielding you from all sorrow and pain, but by strengthening you to bear it if it comes; not by making your path easy, but by making you sturdy enough to tread any path.
Blessings,
Rev. Janet Jacobs, CCGSO
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries
855-926-0761
For more information on the IGCCB Clergy/Lay Minister Certification visit:
From IGCCB’s Resources for Coping with COVID 19:
https://personcenteredtech.com/tmh/clients (Online therapy preparation for clients)
https://gambling.easywebinar.live/replay (Jody Bechtold telehealth webinar)
https://youtu.be/dYUEjIFtT8E (Jody Bechtold telehealth webinar)
For more information on gambling disorder and recovery issues, go to:
www.indianaproblemgambling.org
www.masscompulsivegambling.org